Dear Vywamus
What are the consequences of abortion (for the unborn child and for the mother)? And how can I mend such act?
With love and gratitude
Flavia
Dear Flavia,
The consequences of abortion may vary, but usually they are much easier on the unborn child than on the mother. The soul of a child which was aborted usually will, between lives, have already had an understanding that he or she was only to spend a short time in the womb. Perhaps this was for the experience itself, for the purpose of the mother’s learning, or simply for the purpose of bodily being close, for a brief time, to someone the child has loved before. In any case, the soul of this child has the option of coming back into body, perhaps to this same mother, perhaps to a different mother, and certainly carries no resentment about what happened.
If you are the mother, however, there may be a sense of guilt, sometimes very deep, about the decision to abort, even if abortion seemed to be the only course of action that could be taken. Or perhaps there may also be guilt if you think, in hindsight, that you did not take enough care, or explore all the alternatives before making the decision, or that you gave in to outside pressures, or that you should not have allowed the pregnancy to happen in the first place. This sense of guilt is intensified if you are brought up in a religion which condemns all abortion. But even if you are not, most women who have made this decision were aware of its momentous impact, felt torn about it, and have regret.
So first, go back in your mind and be present to the situation and circumstances when the decision was made. Notice and feel and accept all the feelings that come up — guilt, possibly, but also perhaps anger or helplessness at being put in the situation, as well as sadness and grief about the decision. It is necessary to fully own your own degree of responsibility for the decision, and to fully experience the feelings. Then do what you need to heal.
Now, how do you heal? You are meant to learn from this experience, and you will get beyond it when you finish the lesson. You are not meant to spend the rest of your life with some part of you knotted up with regret and other feelings about the abortion. You will learn the lesson and then heal when you realize this: The most important thing in this entire situation is not the guilt or other feelings, it is not even whether the child lived or was aborted. The most important thing is the relationship between you and the child. Focus on that!
Have a conversation at the soul level with the child. I so often recommend doing this in other relationships, and it is particularly important here. Go to your own soul level, through meditation or whatever way works for you, and talk to the soul of that child. Know that that child loves you and remains around you and always has a bond with you. He or she would like to have a more conscious connection with you if you are willing. Tell him or her about how you made the choice for abortion and about your feelings then and later. Ask for the child’s forgiveness if you feel you need to (though it is already given, I assure you). And listen inwardly to the responses from the child’s soul. Open your heart to that child. Love heals. You will heal.
If you are truly at the soul level with each other, you will be reconnected with great love and understanding and peace. Possibly even the dialogue between you will continue, and that child will become a guide and support for you in your current life. Or perhaps you will be making plans about when to be together again, at a better time. In any event, whether it is a onetime or continuing conversation, this relationship with the unborn child is important in helping you to heal – to forgive yourself if you need to, and to carry on with your life in peace of heart.
Thank you for bringing up this deep and soul searching question. My blessings to you, and my blessings to all mothers (and fathers) who struggle with this issue. We are here to help and support you. May you all come to peace of heart.
Lovingly,
Vywamus