Dear Vywamus,
I was around 16 when i started my spiritual journey and it has been over 2 years now. A lot of change has taken place in this short “time”. It was all going well until around a few months ago when i started getting all of these negative delusions about the nature of god and i believe that i was being harassed by a demon known as, “Azazel” Ever since this shift in perception I can’t seem to shake off this feeling that the “new age” movement is actually satanic and is leading me astray from god. How can I get rid of this negative uncertainty and move towards finding my unconditional love once again?
Thank you, much love and Namaste brother! D
Dear D.,
I have written about an issue similar to this in a letter to “Anonymous” on 6-16-13. You may want to begin by reading that response. Here I intend to give you and others a more expanded perspective on the kind of negative experience you write about, and suggest additional ways of dealing with it.
It is common on the spiritual path to meet challenges of one kind or another, and what you describe is one kind that is particularly difficult. You are not alone. There are many of you today who face the kind of challenge that you describe. When you experience dark forces, or negative entities such as demons, what is happening is that you are dipping in and out of a reality where such things exist, a reality that is different from the usual one in which you live and have felt at home.This can be quite disturbing, especially if you have no context in which to put it. So let me begin with some background, for you and for others who have these experiences.
Most of you think of yourselves as living in one reality, the one where your everyday life is focused. Yet in truth you live in many realities at the same time, each of them associated with a different state of consciousness. Some of these you are familiar and comfortable with and consider normal. Examples of these would be the realities you experience when in the dream state, when in meditation, when under the influence of certain drugs, when in hypnotic trance, or when you accomplish amazing feats in an emergency situation. You all know about these, they are part of the collective human experience. When you enter certain states of consciousness, you are able to perceive and experience these other realities.
Besides these relatively “benign” realities, there are many others, some of which to you can feel strange and disturbing. From what you describe, it’s clear that you have been experiencing one of the realities where satanic forces and dark entities such as demons exist. Now, where I live in the higher spiritual realities, there is no such thing as evil, or demons. Yet there are “pocket” realities where demons exist, and these realities are created — by humans. Demons and dark entities are thought forms which you yourselves have created to represent and explain primarily the malevolent powers within yourselves. They embody aspects of yourselves that you fear, aspects that you want to distance yourself from, and to think of as “not you.” In that way these thought forms serve a useful purpose, so useful that believing in demons and devils and experiencing them have been part of human culture for thousands of years.
For some people, demons and dark forces are a theory, something traditionally taught about but not experienced. Yet, for those of you who, intentionally or unintentionally, enter a state of consciousness where you actually experience the energy of demon thought forms, it can be very vivid and frightening, even overwhelming. If this occurs for you, there are several possible things you can do. First, it’s important, when you have these experiences, to remember that this is not “THE” reality. Rather, you are in “a” particular reality, which you can enter and leave at will, just as you can enter and leave the dream state, the meditation state, and the other familiar ones I mentioned above. Sometimes just remembering this is enough.
When you have remembered this, it may be possible for you to go into meditation, which is the gateway to that infinite field of unconditional love that you know and want to get back to, a place where there is no fear. Again, that may be enough. If not, there are other things you can do.
You have the traditional options of using protective rituals (surrounding yourself with light, speaking words of power, performing certain acts, and so on), or seeking the help of protective entities (God, angels, guides, and so on). This works well for many people. You can find many writings about processes such as these that you can use, so we will not go over them here.
Often, however, an even more effective way of coping with a demon or a dark force is to accept that it is not “other.” It is not separate. It is not “out there,” but rather, in some way it is connected with a part of you. And I remind you, anything that is part of you, you have control over.
I suggest that you accept this particular thought form, this demon or dark force, and learn how it expresses something within yourself. Maybe it seems to be a very powerful and frightening entity, out to harm you or deceive you. Then accept that there is a side of you with great power, and the capacity to harm or deceive. Rather than fearing or fleeing from this side of you, or judging that it is “bad,” you will do better if you face it and learn more about it. The best way is to actually have an inner conversation with this side of you. If you ask questions of it inwardly, you will usually get answers. If so, write them down.
The goal is to come to truly know this aspect of yourself, what purpose it serves, how it came into being, what its goals are. To use an example from your letter, is it possible that you have a wish, deep down, to be led astray from God? And if so, why? Is it because your idea of God is restrictive? Do you feel, somewhere inside yourself, a wish to rebel and be free of everything, even be free to do “evil”? (Maybe, on looking inward, it will not be an underlying wish to be led astray from God, but some other need of yours, perhaps a wish for more excitement and drama in your life. Or something else. .. Whatever it is, plug it in to this process.)
As you keep up this inner questioning, you will learn more about yourself. And, you will probably note that, even in some of your most “negative” acts and wishes, there is a kernel of something good. In the example above, for instance, freedom and self determination are good things. I think you and this other aspect of you can agree on that. You may not agree on the method for attaining freedom and self determination, or the best ways to use that freedom, but you both have the goal of being free and being able to use your power and determine your own path.
Doing this dialoging, you will be able to find areas of agreement between you, perhaps some goals you have in common, even if you are both working in different ways to achieve them. At that point you can probably agree on ways to work together. Doing all this helps you take back the power that you gave away to the demon thought form. You can then decide how to use that power in the way that to you feels right.
I highly recommend this dialoging process, and it can be done on your own. Yet often, particularly if you have a lot of fear, or if you feel you don’t have enough experience with inner dialog, the process is much easier if you have a therapist or an understanding counselor you trust to help you with it.
Now, one more thing: Some of you have a particular brain activity pattern that makes you especially vulnerable to unusually vivid experiences of demon thought forms. If you think this may be the case with you, you will still find the dialoging work is helpful, but in addition it may also be useful to try modifying the brain patterns as well. This can most easily be done by meditation, or by certain types of medication. Be open to trying both of these out, particularly if your experiences are deeply distressing.
Remember, you are never asked on your path to do more than you can bear, or to go without any help you can get. It is perfectly acceptable in our view as guides that you take advantage of anything that is available. So, don’t hesitate to seek therapy, to get help and instruction in meditation, and if you feel you may be in need of helpful medication, to collaborate with your doctor to find the right one. True, in order to prescribe for you, a Western physician may need to diagnose you as having a mental or emotional disorder; that is the reality they as professionals have to live in. Don’t let that bother you, or keep you from obtaining any medications that may help you regularize your brain patterns or make the negative experiences less intense and more manageable. Let the doctors call it whatever they want – as long as you find something that works for you.
Finally, as you move through dealing with these experiences you have found troubling, we urge you to look at them in the same way as we urge you to look at all your other experiences – as important lessons and challenges to be met on your path. What have you learned so far from having such experiences? What have you learned about yourself, about your reality? What have you gained? Before moving on, it is always important to “take your gains,” to accept and acknowledge the learning and other benefits that going through such challenges has brought you.
I have written this for all of you who have had similar experiences. Some of what I say here may clearly apply to you, and some may rather apply to other readers. Please take what you personally need here. And know that I and the other guides are always at your side and available to help, in whatever reality you find yourself.
Warmly,
Vywamus